Morning...

Thursday morning & I'm off to the dentist, yay... I'm so enthused, can you tell? LOL And I'm listening to "Lollipop" by Big Bang & 2NE1. They're a K-pop boy & girl band. Really good tunes!

At this time tomorrow, I'll be on a plane to. Tdot! Can't wait, as I get to see my buds & party w/ LOTS of gorgeous men!!! Oh & all my running/ weight training has paid off! =D

A while...

I know it's only been a week or so since I last wrote an entry but it feels like forever. If anything, I've been busy with work (go fig LOL) & getting ready for my upcoming trip to Tdot this weekend. =D

I've been running and hitting the gym these past few weeks and I'm down to 141 lbs!! Woot! I've also had to get some stuff for the cats & some new shirts as my current wardrobe is in dire need of an re-assessment. LOL

Oh & I love networking! I've made a few connection for my trip & can't wait to meet them. Tunnel is coming.... Time to send... More later!

4am...

It's 4am and I'm wide awake, considering I went to bed @ 1am and have set my alarm for 9am to do my workout before heading into work early today. And just when I think I have my shit together, life throws me a curve ball from out of no where...

The curve ball revolves around my ex who I thought I was over with. He's become friends with a lot of people that I work with & news has come to me that he's asked one of them out. Weird thing is I'm really good friends with the person he's asked out & the same friend just recently broke up with his bf.

The same friend came to me when he broke up his bf a few weeks ago & I was his sound board and offered advice when asked. He was my soundboard when I was going through my break up last year with the ex. When he told me about my ex adding him to FB and then sending him a message to go out for coffee or something (LOL), my heart started to race & literally jumped out of my throat. I could feel & hear the blood rushing to my head, feeling lightheaded and overwhelmed by emotions that I had thought I was done feeling.

But I guess not... FML... *sigh*

My friend said I need closure. This is a friend that didn't really socialise with the same group of friends that I always hang out with but we always managed to find some time to hang out or shoot the shit when time allowed us to. Regardless, it was refreshing to hear different advice from someone that wasn't going to sugar coat the pain that I was/ am feeling.

You see, my ex last year made it clear that he no longer felt anything for me and that physically, I was repulsive (he didn't say it to my face but I can see it in his eyes and the way he behaved around me AFTER the break up). So, I vowed right then and there to NEVER ever go down the path of Sloth ever again and two, NEVER ever have another person treat or make me feel that way EVER again. But some feelings don't just go away, regardless how one part of you wants to lash out. Which, I know I can and I'm really good at it too but that's just being so childish and stupid.

The other thing that I think is coincidental is that these past 6 months, I've been having at least one dream of my ex. Mostly reliving the fun times we had during the early part of our relationship. There's one dream that takes place in a San Mateo, in this desert camping ground we had stayed at. The sun was really hot and at night, we made our way to the lake and laid down on a huge boulder that was radiating heat. We looked up and saw the night sky unfold all its glory on us and he said to me that night, "This is the most perfect night, I don't want it to end" and he held me close and we made out on that rock. And then I wake up... LOL

Another day @ the grind!

Well Sunday is my Monday. Had a great weekend hanging out w/ my friends and making new ones! I even got some and learned some new tricks! LOL

I'm going to hit the gym regularly fir the next two weeks as I'm going to TO for their Pride w/ my friends. I've got a few new outfits for the summer. I'm going to ask my friend Sean to do a photo shoot to show off the new me!

Friday! Yeah!

Well, considering I drank like 5 beers & 1 shot of something last nite, I'm doing well, this early afternoon. I got to see my lesbian friend Annie, met my FB buddy Chad & his bf & his friends from Seattle, my friend Gerry (who I had a shot with) & lastly but not the least, my mom Mae.

Overall, it was a great night, I got to dance with a gaggle of lesbians, get ogled by a bunch of twinks AND I got to chat up with the stripper @ the pizza joint. We discussed his performance last night & his crotch rocket (motor bike, u dirty minded ho's).

Now, I'm at the clinic waiting for my turn to get my monthly test...

What a year... So far...

This has been a most interesting, I must say. It seems like everyone I know is breaking up & are as restless as I am.

Mind you, I'm kind of enjoying this, as I have an alterer motive for wanting to write about it. So many are changing their lives, taking different directions & evolving into new phases in their lives.

As for me, I'm still learning new ways to enjoy my life. I forgot that everyone has a story & sometimes, it's worth listening to. Life is funny that way, just the old saying: "Stop and smell the roses"...

Bored!! Ugh!!

On my lunch, restless, don't want to read my book, not really hungry & lots on the brain... Loving the new vibes from DJ Big Kid though!

*sigh*

Meh... =D

K, wearing jeans cuz it looked cold out, or it was from my balcony. Haven't properly cooled down & I'm sweating... Ugh! LOL

Blogging, therapeutic =D

I find myself turning on my iPhone on my long commutes and writing a blog entry whenever I can using my blog app. It's late at night in Vancouver and that's when all the interesting people come out.

It's like they hide from the warmth of the sun's rays and stir only after the heat from the concrete start to dissipates into the night air. The night shines with it's beauty and I can see why these individuals wait.

Even on a Sunday night, the city is full of life. The can/ trash "civil engineers", the city's unpaid cleaners are working and making a meager income from the day people's trash. They run around in their make shift transportation (mostly shopping carts from Safeway), which is covered with plastic bags full of their night's collection. Which they will turn in the morning for change to buy their breakfast or booze.

There is a look of determination in their eyes not to be begging on the streets but to try to make some kind of living from a city that has (in their eyes) turned its back on them. Most of them are out on the streets by their own choice but there are others that are there out of desperation. Their stories are written on their dark brown sun tanned skins, the dirt creasing their faces and the limp matted hair speaks of a hard life.

It's these people that I love watching from the corner of my eye. I walk by a late night Japanese grocery store on my way home every night and lately there has been this young man, who is out on the streets reading his book under the fluorescent glare from the shop's store front. I bought him a sandwich and a pop, as he looked like he's not eaten in days. I think tomorrow, when I walk by him again (and if he's there), it will be a good day to quit smoking and give him the rest of my smokes.

Looking for Inspiration with changes

There are a lot of things I've changed about my life. One was being physically happy, which I accomplished. Another is writing more often, which I'm also doing.

I think the next project to tackle on I'd my attitude towards life. I think that life has a lot to offer & I should go out there and experience it. My first steps towards this is to keep traveling. My Europe trip was awesome! Aside from my planned Mexican cruise, I want to go to India or Bali and explore there.

So many places I want to see and visit, just have to find the time now... LOL ^^

If you are reading this, post a comment on a city that you think I can get some inspiration from! =D

Sunday...

Well, went out with friends last night and had a great night with the exception of finding out one of my best friends, who is full of contradictions, has confirmed that he's now dating a guy that is totally taking advantage of his vulnerability. For months he's talked about being "single", yet last night he's telling me that he's seeing this guy that I don't think is good for him, as this guy is just taking advantage of the situation.

The guy he's seeing thinks he's all that and a bag of chips and just arrogant as hell. But who am I to say what he should be doing in his life. Ah well, well see what happens.

Wow.... Drunken Debby...

Well, my company function turned out to be a blast! I've never been to Kobe's and wow, do they know service... As for me, I was soooo drunk and I think I caused a "kuffafull" last night between my bud Dav and his "friend"...

I should get ready and go to the farmer's market that happening right now... More later...

xxoo
R.

Ho hum, ho hum...

Meh, its 1PM and I'm stuck at home until I finish installing the latest Windows crap for a laptop that I sold to a friend... Damn Windows is taking FOREVER... *sigh* The weather has gotten cooler and it's a bit overcast but the sun is still peaking out of the clouds.

Thanks to all the Spring/ Summer haters, your wish for rain will soon be upon us. If I see you complaining about the rain and wanting sunny weather on your FB status profiles, I will SO comment on it and point out your previous posts about it being too "hot"... Sheesh! People are never happy... LOL

The Odyssey

I'm here with my best friend Peter. Enjoying the night and relaxing. Saw a really hunky guy but he left... He had a wrench tattooed on his arm.

He's gorgeous and hope I see him again!

xxoo
Ronn

My other fav from Taylor...

Taylor Swift, one of my fav's:

How I want to percieve my Life:

I love this short film... =)

Early evening...

The sun's golden warmth encompasses the Lower Mainland with liquid sunshine. The breeze gently plays against my skin, plastering my shirt to my body.

I went to see my friend Pam today and to catch up after my tree planting stint. It was good to see her smile and she's looking great. She complimented me on how much weight I've lost, which I attribute to my work out schedule. She's looking forward to moving on from where we are with work, as I am. It'll give me more time to work on my writing projects!! =D

We are planning to get together with our friend Vira sometime in the near future. It's days like today I'm thankful for coming out of my shell. Life is good, people should learn to enjoy it and look past their petty issues.

Going to go for a quick walk around Still Creek and enjoy the serenity of the early evening.

Thursday, my fav day...

Sitting on a train to work, listening to Beyonce - Halo, enjoying the commute. Why? Because it's my "Friday"! =D

I'm off to go tree planting before work. Should be quite the experience. This is my workout for the day. My schedule is dictated to the Sydney office hours. I don't mind it really, as it gives me time to work out in the mornings, spend time outside before work.

Well, my stop is coming up. I'll write more later!

xxoo
Ronn

Chirping of the birds...

Wow, the chirping of the birds at 8 FRICKEN AM woke me up... Yes, I'm not a morning person, can you tell? LOL I guess I'm eager to be up for some tree planting that I will be doing later this afternoon but man, 8 AM???? Sheesh!

I skipped doing anything physical yesterday due to me just being lazy. I'm suppose to go for a run today but that got cancelled, as I'll be leaving early for tree planting. I guess if I'm up this early, I should go do some yoga or use the gym downstairs before I start my day. Then again, I could always just go back to bed for 5 more minutes...

*yawns*

Late night...

The heat from the day warms the night with a sultry caressing breeze. You can feel the heat dissipate into the atmosphere and in doing do so, causing a rush to my senses...

On a train home, writing on my blog seems so insulting, whereas I should be enjoying what night brings. Listening to JLo's Again, so suiting to this night's sensual warmth.

My apartment will be hot again and I'll find my cats panting from the heat. I'll sleep with the balcony window open again and hope for a breeze...

G'nite for now...

xxoo
Ronn

Night approaches...

The coming of Spring heralds the long days and short nights. The sky in Vancouver is coloured with pastel hues of baby blue, soft mauve, delicate pink, pale white and finally the russet orange of the dun as it sets in the West.

I wish I was up on one of mountains viewing the city goes into night mode...

xxoo
Ronn

... con't

Just finished lunch, thought I'd post a quick post regarding previous post.

As stated prior, I'm restless, longing for something but not knowing what and it's driving me crazy... LOL I want to talk to my friends, voice my concerns but how can I talk to them when I don't even know what my concerns are???

I try to be logical but that's never really worked for me, as I'm more attuned to my emotions and often act impulsively at times.

My inner voice is whispering poetry that I dare not write, less I succumb to crying or go on a drinking binge night out w/ friends. I need to meditate more, I think because I'm losing myself to what, I don't know... I guess I'm looking for companionship for inspiration, which usually ends up with me falling in love (when I said I wouldn't - *sigh*). =D

But keeping the words bottled up within me will just drive me nuts. Screw it, I'll write the words and submit them to my editor and see what he says. I still have to finish the edits from the last submission... *more sigh* LOL

xxoo
Ronn

Voice and words...

On my first break, just came out of a meeting where I was told I'll be heading to Salt Lake city, Utah to train my replacements. Looking forward to the trip, as I love to travel and to experience new sites to help w/ my writings.

Though these last few days, I've been feeling anxious of late, restless and not sure why. I've been keeping active, getting out almost every day and socializing when the opportunities present themselves but still restless...

I've got use to sleeping in my own and doing things when I want to. Meeting & making a lot of new people but still longing for more. Oh well, break is almost over & I should get back to the grind... More later.

xxoo
Ronn

Some people...

A friend of mine posted a Blog of Chase, the cat. She's acts and behaves just like a normal cat but she had an accident when she was young and survived. Her face is disfigured but her owners love and adore her and I praise them for it.

What really got me was the friend of my friend (confusing, I know), had commented:

"OH GOD IT IS THE THING THAT SHOULD NOT BEEEE"

Now, WHO the HELL are you to tell another sentient being that they should have died at the accident?? Chase obviously is living her life to the fullest and though she may be disfigured, one should not judge. That's just wrong. As per my reply to the above comment:

"I think its amazing that she's lived from her ordeal and should not be judge by her looks and be allowed to live a full and happy life. It's like saying to someone that survived a fire and has the burnt flesh disfigurations or people born without limbs, that should not be, even though they want to live? Let's look beyond the looks, as beauty is only skin deep.

On the other hand, people that go through major plastic surgery just for the sake of looking young/ beautiful but it goes wrong, should be given the option of ending it... LOL"

Anyway, some people should just grow up and get over themselves...